Him
by XGeekFanGirlX
Summary: Him. When he walked into my life, his golden-dark eyes shining at me, I knew I was screwed. She was going to fall in love with him, and it would be a disaster. What happens when Jace Herondale moves in next to Clary Fray? And why can't Clary remember anything before the morning she woke up? The morning she had met Jace? WARNING: ABUSE AND SUGGESTED RAPE, BUT NOT AN M FIC!
1. The New Neighbors

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments**

 **(A/N This will be told in Clary's point of view throughout the whole story.)**

 **Clary**

The first thing that I acknowledged when I woke up this morning, was that I couldn't remember my dream.

It was strange, as I normally remembered my dreams. Even nightmares, but today, nothing. Like everything in the past had been a blur. Maybe I had just gotten high, and was going through a hangover. It's happened before, so I wouldn't be shocked.

I groaned, and got up to check my alarm clock. 12:34 PM. Crap, my mom was going to kill me. Even though it was summer break, (And trust me I have mentioned that a million times.) my mother decided that I should be making good life choices, starting by waking up early. I swear to godtuf she sounds like one of those retarded cheesy videos a school shows you, when they're talking about being productive with your life.

And when they try to be "Cool", but it just ends up looking ridiculous, which gets the whole school laughing, which makes the teachers think their doing something right, and then that leads to more and more of it.

But unlike everyone else who does that bullshit, I actually have to live with that, as my mother is a walking smiley fry. And as amazing as it sounds, it really isn't.

I walk downstairs to see my one and only mother, crossing her arms at me, while looking at me with an annoyed face.

I try to apologize, but it just comes out as, "Oops," and she rolls her eyes.

"You know how I feel about this, Clary," she says, and I groan, feeling a lecture coming on. Another thing about my mom, she can go on and on about something without shutting up. "Getting up early is important! You sleep early, and wake up early! It's scientifically proven! And-"

I cut my mother off. "Mom, it's summer break. And I get it, I'm not gonna fight you on it," _Considering how stubborn you are,_ I add in my head. "But seriously, I'm a human! I'm gonna slip up once in awhile!"

By the look on my mom's expression, I knew I had won. "Alright," she said, and I smirked slightly to myself, "But don't let it happen again." She gestured towards the eggs on the table. "Eat."

I sit down on the table and bring out my phone. 5 texts from Simon. Dear god, that man could be annoying. He woke me up a million times last night with his texting. Maybe that's why I couldn't remember my dream, I was too preoccupied on trying not to through my phone out the window.

 **Simon: Claryyyy? I'm bored.**

 **Simon: EMERGENCY CLARY! NEED U!**

 **Simon: Jk, got you didn't I?**

 **Simon: Do you wanna watch Star Wars?**

 **Simon: Hello?**

I roll my eyes at Simon's antics, and quickly typed a reply, before her mom would see her on her phone at the table. Her mother always gasped, and when I was younger, I'd feel so rebellious. Now it was just annoying.

 **Clary: Simon, I love you, you're my best friend, my brother, but if you ever wake me up at three in the morning again, I will not hesitate to go to your house and kill you.**

It didn't take long for Simon to reply.

 **Simon: You do realize you'd have to get out of bed to kill me, right?**

 **Clary: Touch** **é**

I'm grinning down to my phone, when my brother, Jonathan, enters the room. . He sees me grinning after I hid my phone.

"Dude, I'd hide that phone better before mom comes," he says to me, taking a seat on the other side of the table.

"How did you know I was on my phone?"

"Lots of people in my class do it. Like, seriously, nobody just looks down at their crotch and smiles."

I laugh at that. Classic Jonathan. "Unless you're a pervert," I say, and take a bite out of my toast. I look up at my brother, who seems to be thinking.

"True, that," He finally decides on saying, and I snort. I hear a door close, and flinch, knowing what's coming.

"You bitch!" I hear my father, Valentine, yell at my mother. "Why is this room a mess?! I do all the work, AND CAN'T EVEN COME BACK TO SEE A NICE HOUSE!" Then I hear a smack, and I know he just hit my mom.

It fills me with anger at Valentine, (I refuse to call that man my father.) but it is always overcome by guilt. Guilt, knowing that he hurts my mom, hurts my brother, hurts me, and I'm so fucking pathetic that I can't do a single thing about it.

I quickly finish my toast, as my eggs were already done. I get off my chair, and I'm about to run upstairs, **(A/N Hehe, that rhymes)** when my father comes in and sees me.

"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU GOING UPSTAIRS?!" He screams at me, and I wince.

"B-b-because I-I need to change," I say, stuttering in fear. He glares at me, then punches me down to the ground, and I feel a shooting pain in my nose. Blood trickles down it, and I know this without even touching it, as it falls off my face into my shirt.

"Hey! Don't touch her, you bitch!" Jonathan says, approaching my father, looking brave. But all my father does is hit him, and he falls to the ground.

"YOU NEVER CALL ME THAT! YOU'RE PATHETIC! YOU'RE THE BITCH!" Valentine screams at Jonathan, kicking him in the ribs as he groans in pain. He storms out of the room, slamming the door on the way out.

I feel pathetic. Probably because I am pathetic. Jon was so brave, standing up to my father. He always was, as I just lay there, not being able to move. I get up slightly, and I still feel immense pain in my nose. I start towards Jon, who just holds his hands up.

"Just go," He says, "I'll be fine."

"But-"

"Just go!"

I nod slowly, giving in. I walk up the stairs, and into my bedroom. I slowly close the door, trying not to make much noise so I won't anger my father.

I hear a scream outside my window, and I look out automatically. I sigh in relief as it's just some girl screaming while hugging a guy. And there is a..mover's van?

Oh, right. Our neighbors moved away. These must be the new ones. The guy had brown hair and blue eyes, and the girl had black hair, curls rolling down her shoulders. She was beautiful, as was the guy.

But the man who walked in next to them really caught my attention. He was gorgeous. The man was tall, and he had golden hair that was slicked back. His eyes were a dark gold, and they were the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen.

The blue-eyed man and the girl were walking into the house, the blonde following. But he caught my eye, and then I realized how creepy I must've looked. Surprisingly, he just grinned at me. Oh, that damned smile. But I just grinned back.

He turned back towards the house, and walked in. I plopped down on my bed, thinking about what this mysterious man was doing to me.

 **That is the end of this chapter! I already have this story planned out, and you're going to hate and love the ending all at once. Please review,**

 **XGeekFanGirlX**


	2. The Golden-Haired Boy

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments**

 **Clary:**

"Ow!" I hiss in pain, as Jonathan puts the ice pack on my eye.

My father, (Of course) came home in a bad mood. (As usual) I, of course, am the one he likes to hurt the most when he was angry. He had slammed me into the wall, and my eye had slammed into the clock on the wall. It was swelling up, and black.

"Just keep it on there for a bit, okay?" Jonathan tells me, and I nod.

"Do you want me to stay?" He asks, and I look out the window to the neighbor's house.

"Um..no, I'll be fine," I say, and he mumbles an, "OK," before placing a kiss on my forehead, and leaving the room.

I sigh, and take out my phone. I'm in pain, and I need something to take my mind off of this. So I decide to text Simon.

 **Clary: Hey, Simon. What's up?**

30 minutes later, and he hasn't even read it. I groan,and plop down on my window seat, looking out into the night. **(A/N I've always wanting a window seat.)** Soon, I see a light turn on in the neighbor's house. It's the room right across from mine, and the blinds are closed.

Until someone opens them, and I look to see that it's the blonde! Yes! I feel so happy, and I don't know why, as I haven't even met the guy. **(A/N Hehe, that rhymed too.)** He sees me, then grins. I grin back. He then frowns, and my excitement turns to disappointment.

We stay there for a minute, staring at each other. Then, he writes something on his window. It was back words, however. Then I realized that it was his number! He was giving me his number.

I quickly type it into my phone, then send the first message.

 **Clary: Hey**

I get a reply soon after.

 **Golden-haired dude: hey**

And we stay like that, texting.

 **Clary: Well, we should probably establish our names, considering we're texting.**

 **Golden-haired dude: we probably should**

 **Clary: I'm Clary.**

 **Golden-haired dude: jace**

 **Jace: you were probably wondering as you see this amazingly sexy guy through your window**

 **Jace: you're a very lucky person**

I snort out loud at that.

 **Clary: I wouldn't call myself lucky.**

 **Jace: oh really**

 **Clary: Yup**

 **Jace: What happened to your eye?**

I froze, wondering what to say. Should I tell him the truth? No. I just met him. Besides, I don't want to be a burden on him.

 **Clary: Don't think that's any of your business.**

It took Jace longer to reply.

 **Jace: ohh, mysterious. I like mysterious**

 **Clary: Good. So do I.**

I was about to reply, when I hear a yell. "Clary! Dinner!" I groan. "Coming, mom!" I yell back, then quickly type an apology.

 **Clary: Sorry, I have to go.**

 **Jace: playing hard to get I see. Well good, because i also love a challenge**

I roll my eyes, but I'm smiling.

 **Clary: I have to eat dinner, dofus.**

 **Jace: Sure, sure, let's go with that )**

I roll my eyes again, and throw my phone back onto my bed. Before I close the blinds, I see Jace, waving at me. And I wave back.

*later*

I managed to escape my dad when he came home for dinner. He was in a surprisingly good mood, thankfully.

I'm in my room now, lying on my bed, while I watch the fan spin. I do that a lot, when I'm thinking about something important. It's mostly about my father, but today, the only thing on my mind was Jace.

My thoughts were interrupted, however, when I heard my phone ring. I picked it up and answered; I didn't even bother to check to see who it was.

"Hey Simon?" I say into the phone, waiting for Simon to say something.

"Um..my name is not Simon," someone says into the phone, then I freeze. I check to see who it is, and it's Jace! Fuck! I thought it was Simon, dammit!

"Oh, right. Sorry I just thought you were someone else." I say, and the butterflies in my stomach are back. Either that, or I'm having a little seizure.

He's silent for a bit. Then all of a sudden. "Is Simon your boyfriend?"

"What?! God, no! We're friends, best friends, nothing more! Dear god, why does everyone think that!?" I say, groaning.

"Right, just wondering." He says, and call me crazy, but I think he actually sounds happier now, that I said this.

"Why? You jealous?" I say, taking a long shot. He goes silent. Thoughts swirl in my mind. Crap. Am I taking things too fast? Did he not like me like that?

"I'm the stunning Jace Herondale, Clary. I can be jealous of nobody with looks like mine," he says, and I sigh in relief, but roll my eyes at him, even though he can't see it, as my blinds are closed.

We were both silent for a bit, until I tried, and failed, to have a conversation. "Soooo, it's pretty nice outside huh?" I say.

"You're seriously asking me about the weather?" He says back, and I face-palm.

"U-um w-what I-i meant was-" I start but I'm cut off by Jace's laugh.

"Don't apologize, it's cute." He says, and I feel myself blush. Right now, I am so happy that he can't see me. I don't know what to say next, so Jace starts talking.

"Well, would you like to go on a picnic with me tomorrow? After all, it's pretty nice outside," He says, mocking me, and I laugh, then start thinking. Is this a date? Or like, a friend-thing?

"Don't mock me," I decide on saying, and he laughs.

"Pretty hard not too," he says, and I snort.

"But would you? Go with me?" He continues.

"Yes, I'd love to go with you," I say, but in my mind, it's more like this: _YES YES YES I LOVE YOU TAKE MEE WITH YOUUUU!_

"Good, I'll pick you up around….3?" he questions, then I freeze.

"No, I'll just meet you at your house. It's right next to mine anyways," I say, stumbling for an excuse. Jace can't come to my house, he might see my father, and I can't risk Jace finding out about that; or worse, him getting hurt because of that.

"Alright then. It's a date." He says, and hangs up before I have time to say anything as a reply.

I plop down on my bed, for about the millionth time since Jace moved in next door. I lay there, thinking about all the possible things that could happen. I'm praying that I don't screw this up. This is my first date since..since...I actually can't even remember the first time I had a date. So this is probably my first.

'

I pick up my phone, and start texting Simon everything.

 **Clary: Guess what?**

He replies. Finally.

 **Simon: What**

 **Clary: I have a date tomorrow!**

I swear it takes him longer to reply.

 **Simon: With who**

 **Clary: Jace Herondale**

 **Simon: ...you're getting played**

 **Clary: What?**

 **Simon: that guy, jace, he goes on dates with every single girl he meets, and just for sex**

 **Simon: he's using you**

I feel a huge surge of anger at Simon. Who the hell does he think he is, talking about Jace that way. He's trying to turn my excitement into disappointment. Sick bastard.

 **Clary: You're a piece of shit, you know that Lewis?**

 **Simon: what**

 **Clary: How dare you? I'm going out on a date, my first date, and you have the nerve to tell me off.**

 **Simon: He's not your first date**

 **Clary: What? Yes, he is.**

 **Simon: No, you went on that date about a year ago, the one with Jason JarJim (A/N Sorry. Lol, didn't know what to name him.)**

 **Clary: That never happened.**

 **Simon: Yes it did**

 **Simon: Hellooo**

 **Simon: Clary?**

But I didn't reply. I couldn't. How did Simon know I went on a date, when I can't even remember it. Wait-then again, I can't remember anything before I woke up 2 days ago. And that was the morning I met Jace.

I look to my left, and see a scrapbook. Oh, me and Simon's scrapbook! That'll jog my memory. I reach forward and grab it. I start flipping threw the pages. There are so many pictures of me and Simon.

Simon and I when we were kids. Simon and I on the first day of middle school. Simon and I graduating middle school. Simon and I at the carnival.

But what scares me the most, is that even though I'm seeing all these pictures of us, I don't remember it. It's like it never happened.

My thoughts are interrupted when there is a knock at my door. "Come in," I call, and my mom walks in, a red slap mark on her cheek. She sits down next to me, and looks at the scrapbook. She smiles.

"I remember these," she says, and I start to panic again, on the inside. She just continues. "You and Simon just have so many memories.'

She really isn't helping. Just making me panic more. As my mom goes on and on, little does she know, that I don't remember a thing.

 **Thanks so much for reading! Please review! I'll try to have another chapter in by tomorrow, as I really like this story, unlike the other ones I've written.**

 **If you have any suggestions, either review it, or just message me on fanfiction, as I check them all the time. I do look at your suggestions, and I use some of them, not all of them, but some of them. Thanks,**

 **XGeekFanGirlX**


	3. The Kiss

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments**

 **Clary (Duh)**

That morning, I knew my mind should have been focused on the situation, but all I could think about was my date with Jace.

I had absolutely no idea what to wear, as this was my first date, and I've never really had a girl best friend. There was Simon, but he didn't know a thing about this type of stuff. Besides, I never really felt that I could talk to this stuff with Simon, as he was...well, he was a guy.

I closed my blinds earlier, so Jace wouldn't see what I was planning to wear. Also, because I've been pacing around my room for the past 20 minutes.

It was only 1:00; I still had two and a half hours till then, but that was precisely the amount of time I needed.

My thoughts were interrupted with a buzzing noise. I grabbed my phone hastily to check if it was Jace.

 **Simon: You wanna go get coffee?**

I quickly text back a reply.

 **Clary: Can't, I'm busy. I'll text you later.**

Did I feel bad for ditching Simon? Yes. Was it necessary? Yes.

My date with Jace was soon, and here I am, staring at my closet. I thought I'd had way too much to wear, but at the moment, it seemed as though everything was way too ugly.

This is the exact situation where I wished I had a sister instead of a brother. With sisters, you can exchange each other's clothes, and get along more. With my brother and I, even though we have a great bond, we can seriously piss each other off at times.

"Clary?" I hear someone say through the door. "Come in," I call out, and my mom walks in, looking frantic.

"Your father is coming home at 2:30 instead of 8," She says, and I freeze. What? My date with Jace was at 3, and my dad would go crazy if he found out. Even though my dad had his...issues, one of the great things about it was that his work kept him till 8; his work kept him away from our family.

"What?" Is all I manage to say. My mom looks at me, sympathy in her eyes. "Your father is coming home early, because he's been fired."

"WHAT?!" I scream, and fear overcomes me. Does this mean Valentine has to be here all day? No! That can't happen! The times my father is at work is the only time that anyone ever gets peace in this house. In the 2-3 hours that my dad was here and awake yesterday, he had managed to give me a black eye, and Jon had nearly broken his ribs.

"Mom, I-I have a date at 3, I have to go and-" I start, but my mother cuts me off.

"I don't want you going."

"What?" I say, for about the 100th time today. I can't even believe what I'm hearing.

My mom inhales. "Look, can't you just reschedule? Your father is in a really bad mood, and-"

Now it's my turn to cut her off. "Do not call that bitch my father!" I snarl at her, and she blinks, shocked by my outburst. But I just go on. "I'm going, no matter what! When the hell is Valentine ever in a good mood?!"

"I said no! This is for your own safety! Your father will be in a worse mood if he finds out that you went out the day he got fired! I said no, and that's final!" She yells at me, then leaves the room, slamming the door.

"I hate you! And I hate this fucking family!" I scream, and even though she had left the room, I knew she heard me. For some reason, it gave me this feeling of triumph. But that was quickly overcome with anger.

I groan, and lay on my bed, watching the fan circle around. It sucks; the feeling of wanting something, yet knowing the world won't let you have it. I sigh, knowing I'll have to tell Jace the bad news.

Just as I'm about to text him, I get an idea. A stupid, risky, idea, but an idea. I text Jace a quick message.

 **Clary: I know it's only 1:45, but I need to come. Please?**

I get a reply soon after.

 **Jace: okay**

I quickly grab a jacket, a bag, and then I go to lock the door. I pull the blinds open, and look to see Jace, who has his shirt off, changing.

The butterflies in my stomach are growing now, and I can feel myself turning red. But I push that all down, and I lift open the window. I climb out onto the roof. I've never done anything like this before, and am I seriously going to risk everything just for a guy? Well, apparently I am.

I jump down from the roof down to the grass, and for the first time I'm greatful that my house is tiny, so the jump wasn't that high. I land feet first, and before I know it, I'm ringing Jace's doorbell.

A girl answers. The same girl I saw when Jace had first moved in. She raised an eyebrow at me. "Do I know you?"

I blink, shocked at how straight-forward she was. "Isabelle, must you be so rude to everyone," I hear a voice say behind her, and she turns. Jace.

She eyes Jace, then she eyes me. She says, looking directly at me. "Good luck with that." Then she just walks back into the house, and I finally notice Jace is holding a picnic basket.

"Shall we?" He says, and holds out a hand, and I don't even hesitate to take it.

He sets the basket down at the park, which is a few blocks away from my house, and, thankfully, it was not a route for my dad on his way home.

I sit down next to him on the picnic blanket.

"So," He starts, "Any certain reason that you changed the times?"

I freeze. Should I tell him about my father? I feel like I should, but I don't want to scare him away. So I just make up an excuse.

"Um, m-my mom wanted me home before 3," I say, then I curse myself silently for how stupid that sounds. And apparently Jace noticed it too, because he raised an eyebrow.

"You're a horrible liar, red," He says to me. "Come on, tell me the truth."

"I can't tell you. Not yet. But I promise I will tell you in the future," I decide on saying, and it's true. I'll tell him. But right now is not a good time.

Surprising me, he just says, "Alright," then he takes out 2 sandwiches, then places one down next to me. "I believe you."

"So, red," He says, laying down. "What's your dream?"

"My what?" I say, confused at his question. He just laughs. "Your story. Your dream. You know, hopes, passions, what you want to do with your life?"

"It's stupid," I say, because it was. It was stupid because I knew it could never happen. I lay down next to him. He looks at me. "Tell me."

I sigh. "I want to graduate from NYU as an artist."

Silence. I'm waiting for his, "That's stupid," or his, "That's never going to happen," Which I got from most people, because apparently the chances of me becoming an artist is 1 in a million.

"How is that stupid?" He says, shocking me. I never heard that responce before. Even Simon had told me it would never happen, and he is my best friend.

"B-because it's probably never going to happen, most people think so." I say, stuttering at the first part because I'm still surprised at his reply. Instead, he smiles.

"It'll happen."

"How do you know?"

"Because I'm psychic."

I snort at this. He looks at me, his face growing more serious. "Don't mock my power!"

"Oh yeah? Predict something."

"Really? You want me to predict something?"

"You're stallinggg," I mock, stretching out the last part. He raises an eyebrow.

"Alright, I predict…" He moves his hands to rub his temples, and I laugh. "...that you will get kissed in the next 5 seconds."

"Wha…?" I start, confused, before I have time to think about it, as he presses his lips to mine. I didn't even hesitate to kiss back.

It was not like anything I had imagined it too be. I thought my first kiss would be gentle, and I didn't know I'd feel anything. This kiss was slow, but not gentle. He bit down on my lip, sending tingles down my spin. I'm pretty sure the butterflies in my stomach had burst, but I didn't care. I never wanted to let go. I didn't want to do anything else, but to feel his lips on mine.

It went on for about 3 minutes, and we broke to take breaths once in awhile, but our noses were still touching. Thankfully, I might add, as I didn't want to stop. I never would have thought, that it would be anything like this.

But of course, it had to stop eventually, to my dismay. He broke the kiss, and looked at me, as I stared right back. My hand was on his cheek, and his in my hair. We weren't kissing anymore, but neither one of us bothered to move our hands.

"So," I whisper, "How about you predict, that I get to go on another date, with the best kisser, in the whole world?"

He laughs, his face still pressed against mine. "And the hottest man in the world."

I snort. "Must you ruin every moment with your ego?"

He laughs. "Oh, I must."

 **That is the end of this chapter! I really like this story, but you're going to hate/love the ending! But no matter what, finish this story till the end. Things get real! Lol. Peace,**

 **XGeekFanGirlX**


	4. The Savior

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments**

 **Clary(Obvy)**

I thrashed around in my bed. I sighed. I couldn't sleep. Once my father found out that I snuck out, let's just say he was more than prepared to beat the shit out of me.

*Flashback*

 _I screamed out in pain as Valentine through me against the wall. He had found out about me sneaking out, and now he was giving me his "punishment." And by punishment I mean what he does when he is more mad than usual._

" _You bitch!" He screamed, and kicked me in the ribs, and I screamed for what was the millionth time that day. He panted for breath, which made me angry. Like he was the one who needed to breathe._

" _You're lucky I'm in a good mood," He said, then gave one last kick to her nose, then left. I seriously doubt he was in a good mood. I put my hand to my nose, and saw there was a huge spot of blood, trickling down._

 _*End of Flashback*_

I shuddered at the thought of it. My father had to ruin everything, mostly my happiness. He even ruined my time with Jace. My first kiss was another day that my father decided to beat the hell out of me. How romantic.

I got a text from Jace about 5 minutes ago. It said:

 **Jace: Hey, you alright? You were bleeding again when I looked through the window.**

I didn't text him back. I couldn't. If he ever found out about Valentine, not only would he begin to see me as a burden, but Valentine would probably beat the crap out of him. And how could we even see each other if my mom won't let me because of my dad? Will I have to sneak out again? And for an even worse beating? Because I'm pretty sure my dad will kill me (And by kill me I mean literally, as he had guns in the garage.) if I keep doing it over and over again. And was it really worth it? For a guy I hardly knew?

 _He is your first kiss,_ I thought. But for that reason I had to protect him. Had to keep him away from me.

And who said he wasn't going to break my heart? Simon even mentioned to me that Jace was bad news. And his sister did tell me, "Good luck with that," after I told her that Jace and I were going on a date. Did he go out with girls all the time? Was he just using me?

My thoughts were interrupted when I got a text.

 **Jace: Why aren't you answering? I see you on your phone. You're hurt! Are you okay?**

 **Jace: Of course you're not, I can see that. Duh.**

I sighed. It couldn't be that bad letting him in, right? _Not too much though,_ I reminded myself, as I quickly texted him back a reply.

 **Clary: I'm fine, I just had a rough night.**

 **Jace: what do you mean by rough night did someone hurt you because if they did i will kick their ass**

I laughed at that comment, and at his horrible grammar skills.

 **Clary: Would it kill you to use proper grammar?**

 **Jace: yes**

 **Clary: (-_-)**

 **Jace: but seriously what happened Clary? I can help id to anything to help you**

I sighed. Should I tell him? Thoughts swirled in my mind. He wasn't going to let this go anyways, and I can't just lie to him. He means too much to me. But that's exactly why I shouldn't tell him.

After about 5 minutes, I make my choice.

 **Clary: It's my dad.**

 **Jace: what about him**

 **Clary: He's the one who has been...hurting me.**

 **Jace: WTF IM GOING TO KILL THAT SON OF A BITCH BECAUSE HE DARED TO LAY A HAND ON YOU HE IS GOING DOWN!**

 **Clary: Not now.**

 **Jace: wat**

 **Clary: Just not now.**

 **Clary: I have to go Jace.**

 **Jace: Wait!**

 **Clary has logged off**

I sighed, praying that Jace wouldn't tell anyone. And by anyone, I mean the police. They would arrest him, but then I'd have to deal with seeing him in court. And what if he was found innocent?! He would kill me, and then I would never have a chance of escaping.

He's been hurting me since….since….I can't remember! It's not like it's been so long I can't even remember where it started, it's like the Simon thing. I start to hyperventilate. I need to talk to Jace. He can help me. I bang on my window, not to hard so I'll wake my parents, but just enough so that it would get Jace's attention.

He looks at me, and I gesture towards the roof of my house. He grins, and opens his window. I open mine to get out onto the roof, and he jumps to sit down next to me. "Hey Red, what's up?" He greets me in his usual fashion. I turn to him, grabbing him by his shoulders.

"I need your help," I say, desperate. He looks at me, his eyes turning from excitement to concern. "What's up?" He asks me, then his eyes darken. "Is this about your dad? Did he hurt you? If he did I swear I will stick a knife down his-"

"No!" I yell, cutting him off. He looks at me, hurt evident in his eyes. I quickly continue. "Not that, I mean later, but I need help with something else." He nods, and I take that as a sign to continue.

"I can't remember anything," I say, and Jace looks confused. "What?" He says, and gestures for me to go on. I do.

"Remember the day I saw you through my window?" I ask, and he nods again. I continue, "Well, that morning when I woke up, I couldn't remember my dream. I couldn't remember anything that happened before that day! And I know that sounds crazy, but it's what happened! You have to believe me, I think I'm going out of my mind!" I let out a breath I didn't realize I had been holding, and then I quickly add, "You think I'm insane, don't you?"

He pauses for a moment, thinking. Then, finally, he says, "I think that we need to find out what's causing this."

I stare at him in disbelief. He wasn't even making fun of me. No sarcastic comment this time. "Are you serious?" I blurt out, without thinking. He eyes me weirdly. "I thought that's what you wanted," He says, not taking his eyes off me. I stutter.

"O-of course that's what I want," I yell, then curse myself, hoping I didn't wake my dad. "But you're not making fun of me."

Now it's his turn to be confused. "Do you want me too?" He asks, and I facepalm. "No! I'm just shocked. I kind of expected you to laugh, or something." I say, and he surprises me when he smiles.

"Well, I'm full of surprises, aren't I? And I could be full of even more," He says, then winks, and I roll my eyes, but I'm smiling. I also know that I'm blushes, and curse out loud because Jace has this effect on me.

"Language!" Jace yells in a mocking voice, and I laugh. "You're a very good listener," I say, before I can stop myself.

He grins. "So I've been told." I scoff, but I just stare into his eyes, and he stares into mine. We stay there like that, unaware of anything else. The only thing we are aware of, is each other. I break the silence. "So, I should uh, probably go back inside. You know, before my parents notice I'm out here." I say, and Jace turns his gaze to the night, then back to me.

"Yeah. I'll see you tomorrow," He adds, and I'm glad. "Bye," I whisper to him, before I climb back through my window. I turn around and close it, giving him a light wave before closing my blinds.

Suddenly, I hear a booming voice say, "What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

 **(A/N Warning: This part is going to get violent and bloody. Clary's father beats her, and it goes into detail. Don't like, don't read. Just read the last sentence, as it's kind of important. )**

I turn around, then freeze. It's my dad. He walks towards me, then slaps me right across the face. "You. Don't. Ever. Learn. Your. Lesson. Do. You." He yells at me, slapping me each time he pauses after a word _. I won't scream,_ _I won't scream, I won't scream, I won't scream,_ I tell myself, but then he threw me across the room, and I crash into the lamp. I scream, and begin to cry. The pain hurts too much, and my father has just started, even I know.

He grabs me by the shirt, then punches me right in the nose. This just makes me cry harder, as he had already bruised it early today. Blood spilled out of it, all over my face, some landing on the floor. Imagine getting stung by a bee, a wasp, then bitten by a spider, all over. Then imagine that times 10,000. That's not even half of the pain I was feeling right now.

"Take off your shirt," Valentine orders, and I freeze. Was he going to rape me? No. He wouldn't. Not again. But then again, you never knew with Valentine. He got angrier as I disobeyed him.

"TAKE OFF YOUR FUCKING SHIRT!" He repeating, screaming louder this time. I shook my head, trying to fight him off. I wouldn't go through that torture again. He had raped me when I was _unconscious_ a couple of days ago, and I could never get the images out of my head. That was one thing, I wish I didn't remember.

He begun to take it off, and I thrash, trying to escape. But he just pins me against the wall, and lifts open the tip of my shirt, beginning to take it off. I whimper, knowing that he is stronger than me. Knowing that I can't win this. Knowing, then I was just going to have to deal with it.

All of a sudden, someone shoots the door open. "GET OFF OF HER!" I hear a voice say, and it's a voice of someone that I would never forget. I look towards to where the voice came, but everything is blurry, as I lost so much blood.

The last thing I saw, was a trickle of golden-blonde hair, before I drifted into unconsciousness.

 **Violent chapter, I know. But luckily, our favorite golden-haired hero comes to the rescue! Please review!**

 **XGeekFanGirlX**


	5. The Comfort

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments**

 **Clary(Obviously)**

I could feel my eyelids slowly open to a figure with blonde hair. "Jace..?" I murmur, and I then realize he had his arm wrapped around mine. I gripped it tightly, and Jace seemed to notice, because he pulled me into a hug. I was fully awake then.

He sniffled. "God, I'm so sorry Clary," He tells me, and I shake my head. "Not your fault," I say, still wrapped up in his hug. We stay there for a minute, not noticing anything else.

I turn my gaze, then a realize we are in a hospital. And then I see...Simon! He's watching us. I pull out of the hug, and Jace looked at me. I nod towards Simon. He looks at him, then back at me. "Boyfriend?" He asks, and I burst. "What?! Of course not!" I then notice Simon's eyes flash in hurt. "Um, we're just friends," Simon says, gestured to me.

Jace begins to get up, but before he can, I grab his wrist, and he looks at me. "Don't leave," I whisper, and I'm pretty sure he can't hear me, but apparently he does as he replies, "Never."

He places a light kiss on my lips, and Simon comes over to the bed. "Are you okay? What the hell happened?" Simon exclaims, clearly panicked. I smile a little at his antics. "I'm fine, Simon. And it's kind of a long story." I tell him, not wanting to explain what happened.

Simon opens his mouth to say something, but I cut him off before. "Can I talk to Jace? Alone please." I say, and I see a flicker of hurt in his eyes, so I quickly add, "Just for a little bit, then we'll talk." He nods, then leaves the room, closing the door behind him.

"What do they know?" I ask Jace, referring to the hospital. Jace looks at me, confused. "What do you mean?" He asks, and I quickly continue.

"The hospital? Do they know about...Valentine?" The last part comes out like a whisper, but Jace can still hear me.

"They know you are hurt, and when they asked how this happened, I told them that we would explain after you woke up. It took lots of convincing, but I got them to oblige," He says, and I feel like a weight has been lifting off my shoulders. "Thank you," I breathe. Jace nods, "Not a problem, never will be."

"Are you going to tell them?" Jace asks me, and I automatically shake my head. He tilts his head at me, confused. I sigh, and go on. "They can't know! Then Valentine will go to court, and he'll get freed, and he'll kill me!"

"He won't get freed. That's not how it's supposed to go," Jace tries to reassure me, but it doesn't work.

"Things never turn out how they are supposed to," I say, and Jace brushes his hand over my cheek, and looks at me.

"Listen, Clary," Jace says, "I love you, I know it might be too early to say that, but I do. And I will never let anyone, or anything hurt you, especially your father. I'd die before I would let that happen. You know what? Even in death I wouldn't let that happen."

I smile. "That's not possible."

"Don't doubt me. I'm psychic, remember?" He says, and I laugh. Jace had that effect on me. Making me laugh in the dullest and worst situations. And trust me I have a lot of those.

"But seriously, baby, you have to tell someone," He says, and I notice that was the first time he called me that. I like it.

"I told you," I protest, and Jace smiled at me sadly. "You know that doesn't count," He says, and I sigh, knowing that he's correct. "I know," I mumble, and he lifts my chin up.

"Tell someone," He says again, and I am about to protest again, but he goes on. "Nothing bad can come from it. And even if he does become innocent, which he won't, I will protect you. I swear it."

I take a breath. "Alright," I say, and he grins, getting up, but I stop him again. He turns back to me. "But stay here first," I say, and I kick myself for being too clingy. Instead of pushing me away, like I expected, he just smiles, and comes back down.

I go back into his arms, which wrap around me immediately. I snuggle closer to him, and his embrace grows tighter.

After a while, I'm pretty sure Jace is asleep. And I am getting more tired by the minute. "Jace…?" I mumble, not expecting him to reply. He opens his eyes tiredly, and says, "hmmmm?"

"I love you, too." I say, and I mean it. I doubt he hears me, but that changes when I see a small smile grow on his face.

I awake to find myself still on the hospital bed, but instead I am lying on Jace, who has his arms around me still. I blush, glad he wasn't awake to see this. I yawn, and that seems to wake him up. "You awake?" He asks me, and I stare at him in disbelief. "What?" He asks, confused. "You are hell of a light sleeper," I say, and he grins. "So I've been told."

"You're also a great pillow," I say, snuggling towards him more, and he laughs. "Am I?" He asks, still smiling, and I reply with a, "Hmmmmmm."

"We have to go eat breakfast, Red," He tells me. "Breakfast can wait, sleep now." I mumble, he laughs again. "Come on," He says, and gets up off of the bed, and my face falls onto the pillow. I groan, "Come backkkk."

He grins, then says, "Can you get up? Or do you want me to bring it to you?"

In all honesty, I wanted him to bring it to me. But he has already done too much for me, and I didn't want to burden him even more. He stayed when I asked him too, though I am pretty sure all he wanted to do was to go out of those hospital doors, back to his normal life. The life before me.

"I can get up," I say, and start to sit up, but that resulted with me wincing, "Oww!" I yell out, against my will, and Jace is automatically next to me. "Are you okay? God, of course not. I shouldn't have asked you too come with me. I'm so stupid! Wait here, I'll get the doc-"

I cut him off mid sentence. "Jace! It's fine! It was my choice to get up anyway, and I just didn't realize it was this bad," I lie. I did know it was this bad, and I didn't want to get up. "You don't need to get the doctor," I add, and that part is true.

"Are you sure?" He asks me, and I roll my eyes, and say jokingly, "God, you sound like Simon." He laughs at this lightly, but his eyes are still full of concern. I look up so his eyes meet mine. "Jace," I start. "I'll be fine, you don't have to worry."

He opens his mouth to say something, but is cut off by the door bursting open. It's my mother. I groan at seeing her. She is all over me.

"What the hell happened? Did _he_ do this? I swear I am going to kick his ass!" My mother, Jocelyn, yells. Jace nods in agreement. "I agree with your mother!" He yells, too. Mom turns her attention towards him.

"You must be Jace," Mom says, and Jace nods. "Jace Herondale, at your service!" He says, in an attempt to joke, but my mom just frowns, then ignores him, her gaze turning back to me. "Okay, so what did you tell the doctors? You fell down the stairs, right? Because if they find out th-"

I cut her off. "Mom, he knows." I say, and she gasps. "You told him?" She screeches at me. "Clary, you can't trust anyone, inclu-"

"Then why the hell should I trust you?!" I bellow at her. She gasps again, and now I'm angry. "All you do is side with Valentine for every little thing! You never stood up to him, you never even called for a divorce! Because you are too afraid! And you make Jon and I suffer for it! Well, I'm tired of it, and I'm leaving!"

"W-what do you mean you're leaving?" My mom says, deadly calm, but I don't care. "I mean, after we tell the police, yeah mom the police," I add as I see her reaction to that. "Everything that dad did, I am living you and you're shitty family!" I scream the last part, and maybe even louder than I thought, because a nurse walks in, yelling, "What's going on in here?"

I pant. Breath after breath after breath, watching my mother as her expression crumbles. "Nothing," I finally say. "I just want her,"-I point to my mother,-" Out of here. Now."

The nurse gestures my mother out the door, but she just yells. "No! She is my daughter! I have the right to-" The nurse interrupts. "If the patient says she is uncomfortable with you being here, then it is my job to respect that. Now get out, before I call security!" She bellows at my mom, and mom cowers, giving in, as she nods silently, while walking out the door.

The nurse looks at Jace. "What about the boy?" She asks me. "I can have him leave if you wish."

"No," I say immediately. "Jace can say." I give him a smile, and he grins right back. The nurse nods, then starts to walk back out of the door, then pauses, and looks towards me. "You need to fill out your paperwork and the cause of this. I'll be back soon to give you the sheet," She says, then she leaves.

I sigh, and rub my temples. "What the hell did I just do?" I say, beginning to hyperventilate. "Hey," He says, coming down to face me. "You made the right choice. And you're going to make an even better one."

I put my face in my hands. I lost my mother, and my father, who was already lost anyway, and now Jon probably hates me too. And Simon, who was already mad enough because of Jace. And then there was the fact that I couldn't remember I fucking thing about my old life! And now where do I have to live?!

I feel Jace's hands on my shoulders. He kisses my neck gently, then places his head on my shoulder. "You are going to be fine," He says, and I beg to differ, but he continues. "Because you have me, and I will do everything in my power to keep you safe."

I try to keep my tears in, but they just pour out, the same way the blood spilled from my nose after Valentine broke it. I had my face in my hands, so Jace couldn't see that I was crying, but when I sobbed, I was pretty sure he heard. Everything caught up too me so fast. Valentine, his rape, every fucking thing he did to me, and I didn't even remember all of it. And then the memory loss came, and then every place Valentine had injured throbbed. I cried out, sobbing harder, not giving a shit that Jace could see me.

"Oh, Clary," Jace says, then pulls me into his embrace, which I fall into, still shaking. I sob and sob; I can't seem to stop, no matter how much I want too. Jace just holds me, whispering soothing words that I can't process, but it comforts me just knowing that he is there, and saying these loving things.

Images pop into my head, about Valentine hurting me. About the...rape. And it's that, that makes my next sob, come out as a scream, a scream for help. Jace just grips me tighter. "Shhh, you're safe, you're safe with me," He whispers to me, and I grip onto him tighter.

"He can't hurt you anymore," He reassures me, and I just cry into his chest harder. I'm embarrassed; I'm crying all over my boyfriend for god's sake. I try to stop, stiffening, holding back the other tears.

Jace seems to notice this; noticing that I'm too stiff, and that I paused out of nowhere. "It's okay," He says, "You can cry, god knows you have the right too. There is no one but me here."

"J-jace, h-he r-raped m-me," I manage to burst out, and I feel Jace's arms tighten even more, and he pulls me closer, whispering things into my ear. His words are all the encouragement I need, and I begin to cry again.

After a bit, I am finally done. I'm leaning against him, limp, and he is asleep, and I am slowly falling asleep.

I was raped. I was abused. I can't remember anything. My life is falling apart. But none of that mattered, because the world made up for it. The world gave me Jace.

 **I know that Clary cried a lot in this, but honestly, you would too if you had been raped by your own father. But the last sentence of this chapter just warmed my heart. I'm having some second thoughts about the ending of this story, because I fell in love with it. But everything all leads up to the ending, and I can't change it. But remember this:**

 **Clary and Jace always fall in love, and this always happened or will happen.**

 **You'll see what I mean at the end. Peace,**

 **XGeekFanGirlX**


	6. The Fight

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments**

 **Remember the last line of chapter 5, because it'll be important.**

I was out of the hospital, and back in my house. Jonathan and my mom were out, and Valentine was at work. Jace was over, and we were gathering the stuff in my room, while trying to make a plan.

He was changing at the moment, so his shirt was off. I'm pretending to read a book, but secretly, I'm looking at his chest. He's just so beautiful, I can't even describe it. And how badly I just want to throw my hands all over his back…

I then realize Jace is looking back at me, so I pretend to read the book. "Hey, red?" Jace says, looking at me. "Yeah?" I reply, and he grins. "Your book is upside down."

I turn to see that he is correct. How the hell could I not have noticed that? We both burst out laughing, and Jace says, "So, checking me out, huh? Can't blame you however."

I roll my eyes. "Your ego grows everyday, Herondale." I say, and Jace smiles. "That it does, Fray." He says, and I blush. But that soon stops as I remember why we are here in the first place, so I frown.

"So, what now? We haven't even turned in my father yet, and I don't think that I-" I say, but Jace cuts me off.

"One thing at a time my friend," He says, then goes on. "We'll get you packed and back at my place, then worry about everything else."

"Are you sure it's okay with your family for me to stay?" I ask for about the millionth time, and Jace's jaw drops, probably annoyed that I keep asking. "No, they're not okay with it, that's why I am going to sneak you and all your bags in my house without them noticing," He says sarcastically, and I yell, "Jace!" He just laughs.

"Yes, it's okay with them," He answers for about the millionth time as well. I nod, but I'm still feeling uneasy about this. What if it isn't? Or what if it is but then they decide to kick me out? What if they hate me?

Jace seems to sence my distress, because he sighs, and sits next to me. "They won't hate you," He says, like he can read my mind. I nod, but I still don't believe it, and Jace still doesn't believe that I believe it, so I put on a smile. "I know."

Jace grins. "Good. Now come on, let's go put your stuff together."

I stop and stare. Jace's house is huge. It looked big on the outside, but it looks like a castle. There are two huge staircases leading up to the 2nd floor, and the ground is marble, there are even pillars everywhere.

Jace chuckles, noticing my look of amazement. "You're house is huge!" I exclaim, and it even echos, so I clasp my mouth. This causes Jace to laugh louder. "Any chance nobody heard that?" I say, whispering this time, trying not to echo. Jace just shakes his head, smiling. "Not a chance."

I mumble, "Figures," but I'm

grinning. Jace leads me up to his room and on the way upstairs, he says, "You'll be staying in my room. We have guest rooms, but their downstairs next to my brother Alec's room, and he can be kind of...unkind."

I nod. The thought of being closer to Jace causes my cheeks to redden. He seems to notice because his grin spreads wider.

"You're a very lucky person to live with Jace Herondale, hottest guy in the world!" Jace exclaims, and I roll my eyes. " _Second_ hottest guy in the world," I correct, and his face turns to fear, mocking me.

" _Second?_ Who the hell is first?" He says, and I grin. "Well, when I was at the hospital, there was this really cute doctor…." I say, grinning. Jace is smiling as well, but he rolls his eyes, and lifts me up. He places a kiss on my lips, and I feel electric pulses through my body.

"My god, get a room," I hear a voice say, so I turn, and see Jace's brother Isabelle through the doorway. "Technically, we are in a room," I say, and I swear I saw her slightly smile at that.

"Yeah, and unless you want to join us, I suggest you leave us so we can do roomy things," He says, and gives me a wink as a yell, "Jace!" Isabelle rolls her eyes again. "I'm used to it," She says as she walks out the door, and that leaves me to my thoughts.

Both Isabelle and Simon had mentioned something to me about Jace. Simon had said he was bad news, and using me. I didn't believe him, but Isabelle wished me "Good luck," on our first date, and I'm pretty sure that was sarcasm. Now, she is telling me she's used to this! Does he bring girls in here a lot?

I snap out of my thoughts when I hear a slam on door. I look to find that it was Jace who closed it, not Isabelle. "Sorry about that," He says, turning back to me. "So, where were we?" He asks as he begins to kiss me again.

As much as I want to, and trust me, I do. But I can't help but break away, thinking about what Simon and Isabelle said.

Jace looks at me, and guilt fills me up as I see hurt in his eyes. "What is it?" He asks, "Was I going to fast? God, Clary, I'm so-"

I cut him off. "Am I just like them?" I say, and he looks at me, confused more than hurt. "What are you talking about?"

"What the hell do you think I mean?! Those other girls that you've hooked up with! Is that all I am up you?!" I yell, and Jace's face turns from hurt to shock to...fear?

"L-look, they meant nothing to me, nothing the way you mean to me," He tries to reassure me, but I'm to angry to listen.

"Bet you told that to every girl you hooked up with huh? What, is it hot to you that I've been raped? Are you using me?!" I exclaim, and Jace' s expression turns to surprise.

"No! Hell, no! I could never do that to you!" Jace yells, but I'm already rushing down the stairs. I'm about to leave, when I hear a voice. "You alright?" I turn to see Isabelle coming towards me.

"Uh, yeah, fine," I say, but she just raises her eyebrows. "I heard the conversation, you don't have to lie," She says, and my heart breaks. "Did everyone here?" I ask her, and she quickly shakes her head.

"No, Alec is on a date, and my parents are both at work. I was the only one in the house."

I nod my head at this, but I'm silent. "Come on," She says, and I look at her, confused. She rolls her eyes. "I'll take you to a bar, or shopping if you're one of those non-drinking types of people. It won't help for you to be moping about your boyfriend."

Though I'm insulted with her harsh attitude, the gesture seems nice enough, and after all, what have I got to lose? "A bar's good," I decide on saying, and she grins. "Excellent."

 **Next chapter will be longer! It'll be mostly Izzy and Clary becoming friends, which was an idea given to be from someone named 'marmaids.' Thanks for the suggestion by the way!**

 **XGeekFanGirlX**


	7. The Author's Note (IMPORTANT PLS READ!)

**Dear Readers,**

 **I'm going to be putting a hold on this story for a while. Don't worry, because I will end up continuing it in the future, but I just don't have time for it right now.**

 **I'm writing another fic called, "What if?" which I am spending my time on as well. I'm also writing a story with my friend just for fun, and it's not a fic so it's not going to be on here.**

 **And school has been keeping me busy. I have a project due tomorrow, and I have had dozens of essays and research papers to finish.** _ **And**_ **to top it all off, finals are coming up soon.**

 **School ends May 26th, so I'll have more time to write in the summer. Thanks,**

 **XGeekFanGirlX**


	8. The Incident

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments**

 ***read this***

 **PLEASE don't kill me! The reason I haven't updated in forever was because I forgot my password and for some reason fanfiction wouldn't send me the email. But I finally got it to work, so here it is!**

 **As usual, Clary P.O.V**

I ran out of the bar, tears streaming down my face. God, why do I care so much about him?

 _Earlier that day_

I start towards the door to leave, but Isabelle stops me. "What?" I say, as she's staring at me in horror. "You can't go out looking like that!" She exclaims, as though it's obvious.

I looked down at my outfit. I was wearing light blue jeans and a green sweater. It seems perfectly fine to me.

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"

She stares. "You're going to a bar! Not a book club! Come on, let me get you something to wear." Before I have the chance to respond, she's dragging me up to her room.

Once we finally get up there, my jaw drops. Her room is HUGE! It's like 10 times bigger than my room, and my room is a fairly decent size. It's purple, with a huge King Sized bed, and purple curtains all around. AND, there's even huge chandelier.

"Put this on!" She screams from her closet, and she throws me a red dress.

I quickly head to the bathroom, which is also attached to her room, and strip off my clothes. After I put it on, I check in the mirror, and it is SHOWY. It's tight as well, so my ass is basically showing, and to top that off, it also shows my cleavage.

"Oh, it's so beautiful," Isabelle exclaims, as she walks into the bathroom.

Now it's my turn to stare at her. "What!" I practically scream. "I look like a whore!"

She just rolls her eyes. "Whatever, it's cute, and you're wearing it. Now, we can go."

"Just act natural, and don't slouch!" Isabelle hissed at me, slapping me lightly in the arm as we entered. I began to glare at her, but she had already turned around, glancing at the crowd.

I felt embarrassed that Isabelle was looking gorgeous as always and I was just next to her, staring at this new habitat.

"Hey, he's looking at you," Isabelle whispered to me, her eyes glancing to a man, who was staring at me with his intense blue eyes. He had blonde hair, to my dismay, as it reminded me of Jace, which is the last thing I needed to think about right now.

"Go talk to him," she said, and I looked at her like she had grown two heads.

"What the hell is wrong with you? I'm with Jace!" I exclaimed. She rolled her eyes. "Fine." She said, but I heard her cough a, "Virgin Mary!"

Normally, I would've ignored a comment like this, but I was already furious from what happened with Jace. And everything else that was happening to me.

"Prove it. Go be sexy," She mocked. I glared at her. But then, an idea popped into my head. Before I could process what I was doing, I grabbed Isabelle by the arms and smashed my lips on hers.

It was brief, and she had frozen, but then she caught onto what I was doing, and went with it. I didn't feel anything, but I pulled away.

"NOW, I'll go get him," I say, and start to walk towards the man.

"Helloo.." I say, trying to be as sexy as possible. "Hey, baby-" he starts, but I cut him off by smashing his lips on mine.

I have no idea what I'm doing. But I'm so mad at Jace. I was just another fling to him, that didn't matter to him.

Suddenly, I pulled away. Was this really how I wanted to get revenge on Jace? By cheating on him?

 _But he basically cheated on you,_ I reminded myself. But technically, we never got any proof. Oh god, I'm a horrible person. I was still mad at him, but then what the hell was I doing?

"Problem, beautiful?" The man said to me, and before I could say anything back, I was running out the door as fast as I could, ignoring Isabelle's distant calls on where I was headed. I needed to clear my head.

 _Now_

What the hell do I do? God, everything is messing with my head. I need to talk to Jace. _Don't run away from this,_ I told myself.

And then, I found myself knocking on the door.

Jace answered it, and I nearly broke right there when I saw how puffy and red his eyes were.

"Can I come in?"

 **XGeekFanGirlX**


	9. The Guilt

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments**

"I'm sorry," I burst out, and before I can give him a chance to reply, I'm already rambling. "I should've let you talk, but I just got all mad, and I'm sorry. I didn't mean too-"

"You're sorry?! I'm sorry! Look, I know I used to be kind of a ladies man, in a way, but you have to know that I would never ever cheat on you! I love you, and you're different than the other girls I've dated. You're...special! And I promise I-" but whatever he was about to say was cut off as I crashed my lips against his.

He was obviously shocked at first, but then he sort of went with the flow. I think I kissed him for two reasons. One, I just missed him and I wanted him to know that I forgave him. Two, and the more selfish part of me was that I couldn't stand listening to him talk about how he would never cheat on me when I had just kissed someone else. God, it was just another stressful thing added to my life, but at the moment, with our mouths touching, all of that was gone. The only thing I could focus on was Jace.

I finally broke our kiss, but my nose was still touching his, and I could still feel his breath.

"So," I breathed, "I've decided something." Jace looks at me. "What?"

"Let's tell them?"

"Tell who?"

"I think I'm ready to tell the police about Valentine," I say, trying to avoid his eyes so he doesn't see the fear and panic in them. But he just lifts up my chin, forcing me to look at him.

"You, Clary Fray, are the bravest person, I have ever met," he says, and I smile slightly, but shake my head. I am definitely not brave. In fact, I'm anything but brave.

"Don't deny it. I'm psychic, remember?" He grins, and I laugh.

"Now, before you interrupted, I was kind of enjoying myself, may we continue?" He mocks, and I burst out laughing, but that stops as he presses his lips against mine.

I forgot about everything else. All my stress, all my worries. Just Jace, and Jace, and Jace. He lifts me up, taking me by surprise, and pushes me down to the bed.

"Can I?" He asks, and I know that it was going way too fast, but I didn't care. I loved him, and even more, I wanted him, so I just say yes, before bringing him down on top of me.

"Well, that was fun!" Jace exclaimed, and I turned to him, laughing. "It was," I grinned.

Jace pulled me closer to him, so we were both laying down, looking at the ceiling. "I'm really happy we made up," he whispered to me, and I glanced at him. I smiled. "Me too," and I meant it.

"My god," I say, and Jace looks at me, concerned. "What?" He asks. I look at him, trying to keep my face serious. "I just really want a taco."

"Oh my god!" Jace bursts out laughing. "That's what you're thinking about in our moment?! Really?!"

"I can't control my stomach!" I exclaim, grinning as I sit up straight. "Fine, let's go eat," he says, fake frowning.

"Yay!" I exclaim, climbing out of bed to grab my clothes.

"You're an easy girl to please," He said, shaking his head, but anyone could tell he was amused.

"Where the hell have you been?!" Isabelle shrieked as Jace and I came downstairs. That was when I realized that I had left the bar without no word or notice. Oops.

"OH! I forgot to call you," I say, trying to look innocent. She gives me a look that says, _really?_

"I see you two have made up," She acknowledged, before giving me a look. And then it hit me. She had seen me and that guy from the bar kiss. Oh, shit!

"Um, Isabelle, can I talk to you alone for a second?" I asked innocently, ignoring the weird look Jace threw at me. I gestured for her to come with me into the second room. After I knew Jace wouldn't hear us, I began rambling.

"I know I made a mistake with that guy at the bar and-"

"Clary-," Isabelle started but I had to finish.

"-I know it was selfish of me but I wasn't thinking straight I was just mad at Jace-"

"Clary-"

"-and if I could take it back I would but I-"

"CLARY!" Isabelle exclaimed, and I finally shut up, waiting for her outburst. "It's okay."

"I know and-wait, it's okay?" I repeated, shocked. Isabelle smiled slightly, but closed her eyes and nodded.

"It was really my fault, I pushed you to be with that guy, and for that I'm sorry. But a word of advice, you should tell Jace now. Because if he finds out, and you didn't tell him, that'll end really badly."

"He won't find out," I said firmly, but I wasn't too sure, and I think Isabelle sensed this as well.

"Clary-"

"I can't tell him, okay?! And please don't either! He'll be heartbroken! And besides, it's just a kiss. It didn't mean anything!"

"My god," Isabelle said, putting her hand on her forehead. "Then tell me this, Clary, it was just a kiss, right?"

"Yes, it didn't mean anything, so it's really not a big deal."

"Yeah, but I can bet you all my money, that if Jace had kissed another girl, you would refer to it as anything but 'not a big deal,'" she finished, before leaving me in the room, feeling more guilty and stupid as ever.

 **Done with that chapter! I'll try to update more for lost time:))))**

 **Review please,**

 **XGeekFanGirlX**


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